Irreplaceable Loss💎
Mama was sent away and given a few drugs because we didn't have enough money to pay for private treatment. She retired to the house, then Ike and I started taking care of her, Papa was trying to get more money by selling his palm wine. He moved to the market for more visibility, this made us see him less often.
We all thought papa would get enough money before the sickness worsened. It was the third week, mama laid in her bed looking up at the ceiling, it was hard to know what she was thinking, and how she was feeling.
Her eyes squeezed at every breath she took, her neck had grown longer. It was a miserable sight to behold, and there was nothing we could do. We called papa to leave his stall and come home quickly, we knew why he had to come, but we were not bold enough to accept that truth.
Papa entered the room, and mama wasn't moved by his presence, she wasn't conscious of her surroundings and that was more worrisome. After some minutes, Ike barged out of the room, he didn't want us to watch him shed tears, he feared that the unthinkable would happen any moment now.
I went out to meet him, I knew he wouldn't want his younger sister to see him in a weak state.
I told him not to worry, that God would perform a miracle, and that He wouldn't want us to lose her. He had us in mind.
"I know God loves us, but sometimes bad things will happen and he is not the cause," Ike said looking away.
I didn't get what he was driving at, was he saying our faith wouldn't carry the situation?
"If she leaves us, we know we have comfort in Him but how do we recover from it? The devil toiled and now we are left to hope. I hate this, Chidinma."
Even though the situation seemed hopeless, I chose to believe. Ike wouldn't kill my faith, mama would be fine once we take her to the hospital.
"Ike, let's go back inside, Papa is the only one there. I can't imagine how fearful he must be now, let's go and encourage him." I said.
We walked back inside slowly, Ike was still reluctant. The house was unusually quiet. It was tough but I chose not to fear any outcome. God would come through, nothing would happen. It couldn't, or else I would become a shadow of myself.
When we entered back into the room, Papa wasn't there anymore, mama wasn't there too. Had we spent so much time outside?
We started to shout to see if they could hear us, we ran to the door of the backyard and saw mama in papa's hands. Papa was kneeling while she was rested on him.
"Please who can borrow us a car!" He exclaimed.
"My Obim isn't breathing anymore."
We couldn't believe what we just heard, we ran towards them and began to shout.
"Please help us, please!" We screamed.
It was futile, our neighbours also weren't wealthy. Mama's eyes were closed, life didn't do us well. A good Samaritan came after 20 minutes. We drove to the hospital, but we were late. Papa offered them all the money he had, more than enough, but we were late. Too late. I felt crushed, and my faith went sour. All I wanted to do was blame God. Ike came to me and hugged me but I couldn't understand.
"God is just as grieved as we are," He said, breathing heavily
"Don't try to convince me"
"I know it's hard, but we have to remember that only the devil comes to kill and destroy. I wish this was all a dream, but it's not. How can we get over this alone? It's God who will be our comfort at this time."
How could Ike start defending God so fast? We were helpless, I knew it was true. But I wanted God to have prevented this all together.
I guess I'll never know why it happened, I would just trust him in my grieving process. I really dread the days ahead. Will this ever make sense?
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